The Great Surprise!

So as some of you may know my wife received a gift yesterday that really made her day! She was given a Fender acoustic guitar! She couldn't believe that some would break into our house and not steal anything, but actually leave something that she has really been wanting. Well someone didn't break in and leave a guitar but she doesn't know who gave it to her. I don't even know! I just want to say thank you so much for the blessing my wife with this wonderful gift!!! You will be happy to know that she has already started watching the DVD's on how to play cords!

It is really funny how things work out some times. I was really upset that I could not get Rachel a guitar for our anniversary. It is something that she wanted and she doesn't often say what she wants. So like a good husband, I was really motivated to get it for her. When I found out that we were going to have to use the money to fix our vehicle I was bummed! I was upset! I was even a little mad at God! At times I wonder if He knows whats going on in our lives or if he is paying any attention? Can't you see that my wife and I are upset? But God is a good God! He knows ALL the details of our lives! He not only knew that we would need the money to repair our vehicle but He also knew that Rachel wanted a guitar. God has reminded me that He will and can prompt other people to move into action and fill a need where there is one. Even if it is a guitar. Rachel wanted to learn how to play because she feels like it will help her to grow in worship. I'm all for that! I'm also glad she got it because it served as a reminder of how God loves and cares for us!

I love my beautiful wife! I am so filled with joy because you have been by my side for the last three years of our journey! May there be three more and then three more and three more and you know.

I also want to thank whoever gave this guitar to my wife! You have been faithful and I know that God will take care of you in those times of want and need!


I have to admit that for most of this past weekend I carried a bad attitude with me where ever I went. I wanted nothing to do with leadership or growing myself and family. I just wanted to give up on our journey and surrender. I felt like God had dropped us off in this place and said, have fun I will be back in awhile! I felt like no matter how hard I tried to get to a point , the further the point became. I was mad at God and really mad at myself. I was mad because I had wasted so much of my time focusing on trying to become this man that I may not have been created to be. I was searching in so many places to find some kind of significance. I thought if I could just find something that makes me feel like I am worth something. If I could just be really great at this than I know that I will be something. I know I could make an impact. I have spent so much time trying to fill this need in me to become something great. I know that it is something God has promised me. My problem is that I was not allowing God to work the greatness into me. I was expecting to just become this really influential leader and this really great person just because God promised me. I was not at that point of being willing to pay the cost of becoming a leader. Vince Lombardi said, "Leaders are made they are not born. They are made by HARD effort, which is the price all of us must pay to achieve anything worthwhile." That word "hard" is not always welcome in my vocabulary. It is one thing that I am working on in the process of becoming ALL that God has called me to!

Breaking Point

So this weekend was somewhat of a breaking point for me. Not really in a good way, but a way that I just have had it with the way things have been going in my life in the last couple of months. Not everything has been really bad or not gone our way. Somethings have in fact worked out and been real provisions from God. Like the fact that I received my LME license. Rachel got a little increase in wage at her job. Isreal is really healthy and has no issues. I would say that there is a lot of little things that we can be thankful for. Then there is the other side of things that really gets to me. For the last six months we have had to pay for at least one unexpected thing each month that wasn't cheap! We could have used the extra money to catch up! The thing that really bothered me, was this month we had the right front wheel bearing go out on the 4Runner. I was going to buy Rachel a guitar for our three year anniversary. I needed to be sneaky about it so I got a cash advance on my check. The guitar she wanted was two hundred dollars. I had a friend recommend it as a good learning guitar. I was really excited about it because she had no idea! Well then we found out that the repair was going to cost just under three hundred dollars! So much for the surprise. It is things like this that seem to keep happening. Things that don't allow us to feel like we are in a comfortable place. Those things that make you feel like life is going well. I know that it is a matter of perception. We have a good life in comparison to others. I am thankful for that. But I just want to take a little break for the unexpected. Let me live life for a couple months with out some big financial mishap. Unless it is a big increase, or a big fat check in the mail! Now that is something I can handle! God has called us to Portland. I knew going into this journey that it wasn't going to be something that we could just skate through. I knew that we would be faced with many challenges and be stretched in many ways. I just didn't know in what ways those things would come and what effect they would have on our family. I believe that they are making us stronger. Individually and as a family. I don't see them making us weaker.